The routine was becoming the same everyday. Being ignored, emotionally abandoned, and apparently a victim of deception. This is how it ends? This is how you want to handle it? Just throw everything away? Well, that’s exactly what happened. And from looking from the outside in, something that appears to have been a collaborative effort. I hate to play the martyr or the victim, but hey, I was even told that SHE would take all of the blame, and that all of it was her fault. Damn right.Trust and a loving heart was broken beyond recognition. My heart wasn’t broken, it was SMASHED. Where do you go from there?
You know, it’s torture when you go through some sort of break up, separation, whatever. And no matter how hard you try, you can’t get it out of your head. Always rationalizing, going through different scenarios in your mind like what you did, what you said, what you should have said, what you’re going to say. That’s currently the case with me, although it has calmed down a bit. I even had a dream about my situation before I woke up this morning, and that’s nothing new. So I’m not out of the woods yet.
So, even though I’m still hurting, and feeling this roller coaster of emotions, I still need to remember one day at a time, one step at a time. Got to remember the things I’m learning on the way. Pay attention to my surroundings, because sometimes that’s where you find answers. Overhearing a conversations, something on tv, or even a song you’re listening to on your MP3 player. And you never know, maybe all the heartache and suffing is for the better.
“If you are going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill
Now Playing: “Pushed Aside” by Lo-Pro