Now you can follow and listen on YouTube and Spotify.

Hey everybody. Just a quick post to let you know that you can listen to music featured on the blog now via YouTube and Spotify. Just click on the links in the sidebar (and the links page via the menu on mobile) and enjoy.

This is somewhat experimental at this point, and changes may be made here and there, but I thought I’d put something together and share. Thanks again….be well.

JRF

Tired of all the shame that I felt…

I am sure some of you know my situation. And I have had a lot on my mind, especially now, after my wife, and children, contacted me recently.

Honesty is important. I always have said that. I try to be honest with everyone, and I expect the same. But I must tell you all: I HAVEN’T BEEN TRULY HONEST. I haven’t been honest with myself, others, or my family here, where I am currently living.

My relationship has been a 20 year history, so I can’t go into much detail. I would consider my marriage a good one. It was. All the good times far outweigh the bad. But, all relationships have rough patches from time to time. Not ONE relationship is perfect.

But what went wrong? There are so many scenarios, but I will stick to the main point. I SOMETIMES MADE HER LIFE MISERABLE. That’s right. I admit it. It wasn’t always that way, but it did intensify especially after the first lay off. I won’t make any excuses, what I did was wrong.

What did I do? What I did was be cold, and sometimes yes, mean to the woman that I loved. And I did begin neglecting her. Add that to just growing accustomed to each other, and then a decline in communication, and other factors, it created a road to disaster. And I didn’t help it any. If anything, I aggravated it,  A LOT.

Now I wasn’t a complete monster, I wasn’t abusive, but I did enough to intimidate, and in their own words, scare them. They were afraid to speak up, defend themselves, to do anything. Believe me, I am truly ashamed of what I had become.

She didn’t know what to do. She was scared. She was going through personal issues of her own. She did what she thought she had to do, even though even she admits to it being handled poorly. She was confused and didn’t know what to do. She was willing to sacrifice her marriage. Better to be separated and better people on our own, instead of together in a relationship going bad fast. Tough love.

She did everything for me, and contrary to what some think, she was the one who pushed me to be a better person. Always did, from the beginning. She tried to help me with my lack of self confidence and self esteem. She was the one to push me to go to school, get a better job, encourage me with my talents, and would push me to keep in touch with my family. I didn’t alienate my family because of her, it was me. She had nothing to do with it. All she did was try to make me BETTER, and I didn’t accept it, or let her help.

I began to USE her as a scapegoat. An excuse for my own failures and faults. I made it look like she was the bad one, especially when this all happened. Fault was on both our parts, but I was the bad one. All I did was push and push. She pushed back. Most of this mess was because of me.

This situation I’m in has opened my eyes to a lot of things. It has made me think. It has FORCED me to take a look at myself. It has FORCED me to make changes. Trust me, I have learned my lesson, and I now have the tools to be that better person, the person she fell in love with, once again.

“There is no success without hardship”. – Sophocles

Now Playing: “It Was You” by 12 Stones

Joey Flowers Awarded Versatile Bloggers Award

Wow. What do I even say?

I would like to thank Blogger Marie G. aka lostinthearmsofdestiny, for nominating me for the Versatile Bloggers Award. It is truly an honor that I am recognized by my peers and fellow bloggers.

To tell you the truth, sometimes I wonder why I even blog at all, and sometimes I wonder if it’s something that I should even continue, but some of the comments, emails, and support I get from you, the readers is what keeps Joey Flowers going.

So to Marie, and all of you. THANK YOU.

As far as nominees, I’ve seen SO many great blogs, I wish I could nominate them all. But, the rules state only 15, so…To all those I’ve crossed paths with, you are ALL winners to me.

 

And my nominees (not in any particular order) are:

lostinthearmsofdestiny – Great blog, personal, deep, from the heart.

chicpress – Great poems, creative, posts speak to you.

wordsfallfrommyeyes – Great writing, blog worth checking out.

Love 2 Type – Cool blog. A little bit of everything.

Unhallowed Nation – Awesome metal blog. Not for the weak…

Source of Inspiration – Blog run by Pat Cegan. Inspirational, beautiful.

Tamara Out Loud – Great blog. One thing that make her great is her being real.

A Purple Daffodil – Great blog, great sketches.

Sips of Jen and Tonic – Cool blog, worth checking out.

Personal Concerns – Personal, great writing.

Relationship Voice – Great blog having to do with relationships, etc.

Awaken The Inner Self – Great Blog. Well written. Inspirational.

Waking Up Angry – Cool blog. Great posts. Worth checking out.

Andres Berrondo Omniologist – Very cool. A little bit of everything. Check it out. You can also find him at kryptonight83.

IYAAYAS Moderator’s Blog – Open, straight shooter. Check out this blog.

 

7 Things About Me…You Don’t Know:

1. My real name is NOT Joey Flowers.
2. I’m currently working through OCD, Depression, and anxiety.
3. I get teary-eyed at the end of “Armageddon”
4. I hate pictures being taken of me.
5. Hate exercise, but really enjoy walking.
6. Fall and Spring are my favorite seasons..
7. I LOVE the smell of Lilacs.

 

 

Versatile Blogger Award. The Rules:

If you are nominated, you’ve been awarded the Versatile Blogger award.

1. Thank the person who gave you this award. That’s common courtesy.
2. Include a link to their blog. That’s also common courtesy.
3. Select 15 blogs/bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly.
4. Nominate those 15 bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award
5. Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.