I’m marching to the rhythm of a lonesome defeat…

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Today my wonderful mother said something to me that really struck a chord. I was telling her how stressed I have been feeling and she says: “Don’t let anything take your peace away”. After the initial easier said than done reaction, I thought to myself, she is absolutely right. We shouldn’t let anything, or anyone take our peace.

I have been very stressed. Life as a recent widow, work, uncertainty of the future, and the list goes on. Also the fact that I still feel as though I am a broken man, physically and mentally. Old issues that still need work, becoming a little more challenging. Or is it all in my head? It’s doable to get out of this funk and rise up, right? I know it’s possible, but the will is weak…

I have a ways to go, always looking and searching for the solutions to my problems. I’m sure a lot of you feel this way to a degree. I need courage. We need courage. Time to find it, put on the armor, and get ready to battle and rise up….let’s do this.

“Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene.” -Arthur Christopher Benson

Now playing: Linkin Park – Battle Symphony

 

Now you can follow and listen on YouTube and Spotify.

Hey everybody. Just a quick post to let you know that you can listen to music featured on the blog now via YouTube and Spotify. Just click on the links in the sidebar (and the links page via the menu on mobile) and enjoy.

This is somewhat experimental at this point, and changes may be made here and there, but I thought I’d put something together and share. Thanks again….be well.

JRF

Pretty soon you have to deal with the truth behind the way you feel…

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Ignoring things don’t make them go away. If anything, at times it may make matters worse. Hiding things is never good. In a way it can be borderline abusive. I have always been of the mindset that things shouldn’t be sugar coated (but common sense and tact be used), and honesty is the best policy. I think one of the things we do, especially me recently, is hide or ignore thoughts or feelings we have instead of dealing with them or finding a remedy. Guilty.

I wonder to myself at times if I have grieved enough, or grieved properly. As time goes on, I do still think of her, but I also noticed that there is a level of “normalcy” to life as the days go by. But at the same time, there is so much still bottled inside that I just don’t know really what to do.

Along with that, other issues in my life arise. Since I must pick up the pieces and move on, I realize the changes that need to be addressed or changed like my health, job situation, loneliness, depression, grief at times, and the list goes on. Feels overwhelming at times, but one day at a time.

So we need to look in the mirror, take a deep breath and figure it out. Deal with the issues and learn to live, and live with yourself. I find that hard sometimes, but life is to be lived happily and to the fullest. I want that, and I’m sure you do too……Be blessed.

“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.”  – Dalai Lama XIV

 

Now Playing: Jonathan Davis – What it is

 

 

Yeah, it feels like The world has grown cold.

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There isn’t a day that I don’t think about her. Everyday I contemplate, I wish, I regret. Here a broken man, confused, lost, not knowing where to go next. The glimpses of progression shine through once and a while, but become eclipsed. What do I do? Where do I go from here? I know I need to move on, but how? It’s as if I’m haunted and tormented, not only by the memories of recent events, but I feel tortuous fire inside at times. Time has passed, and I have started to move on, but I feel there is a ways to go.

How to deal? One day at a time, I suppose. Life has twists and turns, things happen, sometimes self inflicted, sometimes not. But we need to deal or we die.  I heard a saying recently that really spoke to me. It also can be interpreted a couple ways. It is “Progression, not Perfection”. So true.

So family, life’s not perfect. But progression is key. Will you stumble, lose hope, want to give up? Yes, of course. We are all human. But remember, it’s not how many times you fall, it’s how many times you get back up. Be well…..

“Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life”. – Anne Roiphe

Now Playing: Five Finger Death Punch – Gone Away

 

 

 

I convinced myself that I was Invincible…

file2541264468046  So it’s been a while since I posted on this blog. The blog was named “The Ballad of Joey Flowers”, I started it as a way to deal with the separation from my wife. Long story short, all was resolved, I moved back home, and then just picked up where we left off.

Shortly after, my wife became VERY ill, but fought through it. Life was good again. Was it perfect? No. Who’s life is? We continued on and my wife even started her own business.

A little over a year ago, she fell ill once again. This time was even worse than the first time. Stage 4 cancer. Too late to do anything. Doctors and nurses would pull me to the side and give me “the talk”. Then finally, on November 13th, 2016 she passed away in my arms. Was a long journey, but here it ended…..or did it?

Now this story is very abbreviated, and not meant to sadden, or make you feel bad, but needless to say, I’ve been through a lot since I stopped blogging. But here I am, expressing my heart and soul again.

So, again I will use this medium to help myself, and possibly help others. But like I have stated before in the past, I plan on going off topic from time to time, share things that I find interesting, music, movies, games, anything that helps us deal, cope, or just forget about the serious stuff for a while. And please, feel free to share your stories, your favorite things, your ways of getting through life.

Thanks, and welcome to Resound and Rebel.

“Sometimes the hardest part isn’t letting go but rather learning to start over.”
– Nicole Sobon

Now Playing: Twelve Foot Ninja – “Invincible”

 

 

 

I turn the world around…

I know it’s been a while since I have posted anything here on the site, but, here I am. Alive and well. Well, as well as I am going to be for the moment. No, things are good (all things considered), but getting reintroduced to my form of civilization has been a little bit of a process. Alot has gone on, and will continue to do so, but, things are looking up.

The old self would have probably exploded, or have just given up by now, but I said old self. Gone are those days. Sure, I’m still working on things, but everyone should strive to be better, EVERYDAY, not just when it’s convenient, or when “things go wrong”. Do I still get stressed? Sure. I won’t lie. But the key is in how you handle the stress and how you look at all things looking for the positives, and for the lesson to be learned by your experiences.

So, mending a broken relationship, dealing with the joblessness and other related issues back here in the good ‘ol US of A, I still believe that in the end, it will all be better than it was before. And that’s what you, and everyone else should feel. Use the events in your life as stepping stones. Experience, learn, grow. What other alternatives are there? Be human. Be well…

“A man does what he must – in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures – and that is the basis of all human morality.” – Winston Churchill

Now Playing: “More Human Than Human” by Rob Zombie

Can you see the fabric of our standards wearing thin?

Looking through cynical and negative eyes isn’t a way we should live life. Should we be careful and on guard at times? Sure, I would say so, especially in this day and time, but to revolve your way of thinking to that of someone always on guard just does you a disservice, doesn’t it?

Really all it does is hold you back. Do negative things happen? Yes. Is there people with negativity surrounding them, projecting it towards you? Again, yes. But we have to take it upon ourselves to be the opposite of that. Sure, we can expect to run into “obstacles”, but to let your existence revolve around being cynical and negative, like I stated before, just holds us back.

We should look for the silver lining in everything. Find the silver lining in the black cloud, not focus on the cloud. Most of us tend to do that. Doesn’t make sense when you think about it. Changing yor outlook will help you in the long run.

“If you don’t think every day is a good day, just try missing one.”  – Cavett Robert

Now Playing: “The World Is A Thorn” by Demon Hunter