Sad, depressed, alone. That’s how you feel sometimes when things go wrong. Right away people put themselves in a small box and become very closed minded, and short sighted. We tend to amplify the bad, and most times believe, or rather lie to ourselves and create this sort of solitude for ourselves.
But are you really alone? In my case, I realized that MANY people have gone through what I’m going through, and I won’t be the last. Life does move on. There is more out there than the present situation. We ourselves put up walls and slow ourselves down.
So, what do we do? We open up, free ourselves from our self solitude and realize that we are not alone.Work on what needs to be worked on and make sure you fix you. Take one day at a time, one step at a time, and everything will fall into place….
“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” – Confucius
Now Playing: “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” by Green Day
Four months into my exiled life here has really opened my eyes to a lot of things. I have been enlightened on a few subjects. I was allowed to grieve my loss, and I am allowed to be reborn. It has been a challenge (and honestly continues to be a challenge) let me tell you, but I’ve begun to realize that all of this is for the better.
I’m human, I make mistakes. I’ve made tons of mistakes. But never anything to deserve to suffer the way I did. I don’t want to sound like a martyr or a victim, but that’s how I feel. Did it have to be this way? Slowly I am starting to believe that it was. I have to continue to keep outweighing the pros, and not focus so much on the cons of my new situation.
The old self had to be wounded fatally and sent to its death with the Judas like kiss, lies, and a goodbye. One world , split into two different worlds. One set ablaze left to become ash. The other, who knows, and at this point, really doesn’t concern me. What concerns me is to rise from the ashes and rebuild.
Thoughts of the old world are fading. Time has expired and it became time to move on. Slowly but surely I continue repairng what was broken, mind, body, heart, and soul. It’s a work in progress I assure you, but I cannot be destroyed. I REFUSE to be destroyed…
“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Now Playing: “Burn My Shadow” by Unkle
Think about it. How different are we? Sure, everyone’s an individual with their own lives, their own experiences, but really, how are we all different? We all suffer fro time to time. Bad and stressful things happen to everyone, no matter what walk of life. We’re in this thing together.
There’s a saying that goes “it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish”. I think we should take that into consideration. Life may not have ended up the way you expected or wanted, but it’s how you continue to live your life making it fulfilling and satisfying, living with no regrets.
So your life isn’t perfect right now. Mine isn’t either. Doesn’t really matter. Face it, your life and my life will NEVER be perfect. Look at yourself and see where you weaknesses are and work on them. Make yourself stronger. Don’t let anyone or anything stop you.
“Conquering any difficulty always gives one a secret joy, for it means pushing back a boundary-line and adding to one’s liberty.” – Henri Frederic Amiel
Now Playing: “Dig” by Incubus
Break ups, separations, divorce, can be very painful and excruciating. We’ve all heard stories from different people. hell, even seen TV shows and movies that depict the goings on during the deterioration of relationships. You never think about what it would be like if it happened to you. I know I never did.
One of the things that happens when our hearts are broken, or we feel betrayed is we right away become the victim. Right away we put ourselves in this little box and we think our world is going to end, wondering why it’s happening to you. You also tell yourself that you won’t be able to move on. Lies I tell you, all lies.
I’m sure most, if not all people got the “you’re going to be okay” or “things will work out”, among a ton of other tidbits of advice. And you know what? It’s true. You will be okay. Everything will workout. How do I know this? Well one reason why is because I realized that I am not the only one to have gone through this. And a TON of people have gone through this. You, or I, are not the only ones and I’m sure we won’t be the last.
Sure, you have to go through your “grieving” or “mourning” phase. But know that you, like hundred and thousands of millions of others, were, or are in the same position that we are in now.. You can get through this. I can get through this. We need to rise up and realize that the life waiting for us is much more better than this.
“Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward”. – Henry Ford
Now Playing: “One X” by Three Days Grace
Being closed minded when it comes to bad luck or some major issue in your life is something that a lot of people suffer from. A lot of people create this tunnel vision, not looking at the big picture during situations in life, and that could be very limiting and can hold back progress..
For example, your relationship ends and all you can think about is the negatives and that the pain will never end. Guilty. But why trap yourself in that mindset? We all do it to some degree. Instead of making more obstacles to overcome, why not try to make the path easier?
I’ve done the same, I admit, but I’ve learned that life moves on and either you live it, or stay stuck in the same self pitty, being a victim. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be stuck, or a victim. I want to be happy. I want to live life to the fullest.
You work with what you got, and remember that when one door shuts, another opens. We are all in the same boat so to speak. Everyone has to deal with life one way or the other. Break the chains and be free …
“A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.” – Frank Zappa
Now Playing: “Aerials” by System of a Down
When a relationship is ending, or has ended, we never think about new beginnings. All we focus on is endings. Even when the deal is sealed, and the relationship is truly over, new beginnings are the LAST thing on our mind.
I was one of those people. I couldn’t see anything past the hurt and betrayal. I was so focused on all the negatives, the rejection, the confusion, just trying to make sense of a situation that DIDN’T make any sense. But now…
Sometimes, things have to die in order to live again. Just look at nature. The trees, plants, etc, all lose leaves and become barren when it becomes cold. Stripped of everything, dormant and life at a stand still until the sun shines again and gives them NEW life.
We sometimes are just like those barren trees, stripped. Everything taken from us. But know that once the cold breaks, and the sun shines, there will be new life. SO instead of looking at things as an end, let’s look at things as new beginnings.
“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come”. – Joseph Campbell
Now Playing: “I Feel So” by Boxcar Racer
Acceptance sometimes can be difficult. We kick and scream, not wanting to conform to the way things are at the moment, unwilling to adapt and evolve. Patience can also be just as difficult. We want change and we want it now, without all the hassle.
You can place me in that category. Difficulty with acceptance at times, and patience admittedly isn’t one of my strongest virtues. I’m a lot better than I was when I was younger, but still at times, I would like things to move, move, move.
But with that lies a problem. When we hurry, and act out of desperation, we make mistakes. Things get missed or left undone. Sometimes you have to slow down, let things play out, and you will be better off. Forcing things will disrupt the motion in which your life is moving.
If you think about it, acceptance and patience work together. Learn to accept what’s in the now, and have the patience to get to where you need to be. We need to be less focused on what we WANT, and be more focused on what we NEED.
“Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind”. – Leonardo da Vinci
Now Playing: “Crash” by Papa Roach
In our lifetimes we run into people who can be on the surface a good, trustworthy individuals. But beneath ones surface is what we need to look at. Dishonesty is a very, very hurtful thing, and I know I’ve been a victim of dishonesty, and I am sure many others have been as well. A trust broken is a trust that is lost.
Another thing I have thought about was dishonesty to self. We can deceive ourselves as much as other people can deceive us. Be it through low self esteem (I’m not good enough, I’m ugly, I can’t do anything right), or I would even say having a high self esteem can make one careless and have an inflated ego, which can of course also be very damaging.
Bottom line is that we have to not only be careful of deception from others, we have to pay close attention to instances where we deceive ourselves. We can be our own worst enemy. I know in my experience that has been the case. And it can be even more irritating when you get in you OWN way.
“A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future”. – Author Unknown
Now Playing: “Liar” by Rollins Band
The light at the end of the tunnel. That’s something that I have been contemplating at times. I keep telling myself that this situation is only temporary, and that it will pass. Once the storm is over, the clouds will break and the sun will shine through.
I know, when things don’t go our way, or times get rough, we play the victim. We just stop and allow negativity get the best of us. I know for myself at times, I just look at myself and just have to shake my head in disgust. I look and tell myself to knock it off (not in those words), and that I’m better than this. The key is to stay positive and keep your head up, even though it looks impossible to do so.
You know, things happen. Things go wrong. It’s just part of this vicious circle. No one has had a perfect life. Just have to learn to roll with the punches and keep going. Sometimes we have to go through the tough times and heartache so we can be stronger for whatever else comes our way in our lifetime. Just think about how awesome things will be once the storm is over…
“Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through insensibility but through greatness of mind” – Aristotle
Now Playing: “Get Up” by Korn feat. Skrillex
Many times I have wondered what if. Many times I have gone through things in my mind and let doubt, fear, and regret creep in. And also there were many times that I have just said that I wish I could start over, or get a second chance. I don’t think I’m alone when I say that there are a TON of things I would like to do over.
Well, you know what? You only get one life, and that life is short. Too short for what ifs, regrets, and dwelling in the past. I believe that we do get second chances in life, even though sometimes you have to wait for them, but it is our responsibility HOW we live our lives, no matter what the situation is, good or bad.
Another thing is to trust yourself and stay strong. Don’t let doubt or fear get into your head. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. I am guilty of that. I’ve let fear, doubt, and regret enter my mind MANY times, and all that does is stop you. Become unstoppable. We have to learn to say enough is enough and live even though we, or life isn’t perfect.
“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell”. – Buddha
Now Playing: “Sober” by Tool