How can we evolve if we live in the shadow?

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The intent of this blog isn’t really to feel sorry for myself or live in the muck that is the negative that is going on in my life. The intent is to share, cope, vent, and attempt to heal myself and live like I’m supposed to. Hopefully those reading find something in my words and come along for the ride and find what they are looking for. There is strength is masses. We are all human with the same human emotions and feelings. We all want to be happy.

Can it be challenging? Of course it is. One of the challenges is getting away from the dark cloud that hangs above us. We constantly linger in the shadow that always seems to creep at us and keep us from the light. Sure, life isn’t always going to be perfect, but just perpetuating negative attitudes, feelings, whatever isn’t really good. I struggle all the time, but without struggle or movement, you’re done…..Live life, be well.

“Look around you. Everything changes. everything on this earth is in a continuous state of evolving, refining, improving, adapting, enhancing, and changing. You were not put on this earth to remain stagnant.” Dr. Steve Mataboli

Now Playing: Fire From the Gods – Evolve

I’m marching to the rhythm of a lonesome defeat…

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Today my wonderful mother said something to me that really struck a chord. I was telling her how stressed I have been feeling and she says: “Don’t let anything take your peace away”. After the initial easier said than done reaction, I thought to myself, she is absolutely right. We shouldn’t let anything, or anyone take our peace.

I have been very stressed. Life as a recent widow, work, uncertainty of the future, and the list goes on. Also the fact that I still feel as though I am a broken man, physically and mentally. Old issues that still need work, becoming a little more challenging. Or is it all in my head? It’s doable to get out of this funk and rise up, right? I know it’s possible, but the will is weak…

I have a ways to go, always looking and searching for the solutions to my problems. I’m sure a lot of you feel this way to a degree. I need courage. We need courage. Time to find it, put on the armor, and get ready to battle and rise up….let’s do this.

“Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene.” -Arthur Christopher Benson

Now playing: Linkin Park – Battle Symphony

 

I have to carry the cross

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I’d say that I’m some sort of purgatory. At least that’s how I feel. I have started moving on, but I also have this strange feeling inside that I can’t necessarily express or explain . I know soon after her passing, along with the other emotions, I felt as if there was a weight, or cross, placed on my shoulders. I had a life that i shared with someone, and now I was left to figure out what needed to done to prepare, continue, and live life as normal as a widow or single guy.

We all have crosses to bear, but its’s how we deal with it. The better we deal with it, the lighter the burden becomes. Eventually, we conquer it and it makes us stronger. Life does move on after death, hard times, etc. We move or we suffer. And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not suffer or be miserable. So I try.

I battle everyday with numerous issues. We all do. Sometimes we don’t see any relief in site, but it’s there somewhere. One day at a time is all we can really do. The journey has been long, full of joys and sorrows, but my journey continues and is being written daily….

“The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief – But the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never risking love.”– Hilary Stanton Zunin

Now Playing: Priest – The Cross

 

 

I turn the world around…

I know it’s been a while since I have posted anything here on the site, but, here I am. Alive and well. Well, as well as I am going to be for the moment. No, things are good (all things considered), but getting reintroduced to my form of civilization has been a little bit of a process. Alot has gone on, and will continue to do so, but, things are looking up.

The old self would have probably exploded, or have just given up by now, but I said old self. Gone are those days. Sure, I’m still working on things, but everyone should strive to be better, EVERYDAY, not just when it’s convenient, or when “things go wrong”. Do I still get stressed? Sure. I won’t lie. But the key is in how you handle the stress and how you look at all things looking for the positives, and for the lesson to be learned by your experiences.

So, mending a broken relationship, dealing with the joblessness and other related issues back here in the good ‘ol US of A, I still believe that in the end, it will all be better than it was before. And that’s what you, and everyone else should feel. Use the events in your life as stepping stones. Experience, learn, grow. What other alternatives are there? Be human. Be well…

“A man does what he must – in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures – and that is the basis of all human morality.” – Winston Churchill

Now Playing: “More Human Than Human” by Rob Zombie

What do you do?

Well, so far, so good. However, like I’ve stated before, it’s a new beginning. In a sense, it’s “starting over”. There is a familiarity to all of it, but at the same time, there are adjustments to be made, and “re-learning”. Certainly things are different, and a few hurdles to get over, but, one thing at a time, one day at a time.

There are things currently going on that are not ideal, like still no job, and now problems with my car, but I am looking at the positives of it all, and not letting it get to me. So far, I believe that things have been falling into place and working out, and I am not going to abandon the new mindset and way of thinking. Does being inconvenienced suck? I won’t lie, it does, but what options do I have? The old way of thinking is NOT one of them.

We all have the power, the choice to make when it comes to certain things in life, and how we deal with them. It’s as if we get to a fork in the road. Which way are you going to go? You can choose to complain, whine, get angry, or you can take the negative, deal, and turn it into a positive. I really am done with the old way of thinking, it’s a road to nowhere….

“The first rule is to keep an untoubled spirit. The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are. If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgement of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgment now. Think of what you have rather than of what you lack. Of the things you have, select the best and then reflect how eagerly you would have sought them if you did not have them” – Marcus Aurelius

Now Playing: “What Do You Do?” by the Rollins Band

Don’t worry about a thing, cause every little thing gonna be all right…

When things got rough for me, there were times where I thought life was just a HUGE joke, and not worth the effort. I’m sure most, if not all of you share the same feeling. But, pain and hurt are only temporary. It is us who prolong it.

Things always change and evolve, one way or the other. When things aren’t ideal, you have to believe that the hardship is only temporary, and WILL get better. We have to believe that. We have to help make it happen.

The only thing we should worry about, is how our lives will be better. How our lives will improve after we overcome whatever obstacle throws itself in front of us. Things usually have a way of working out, if we don’t get in the way….

“Everything will be okay in the end. if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” – Uknown Author

Now Playing: “Everything’s Gonna Be Alright” by Bob Marley

You keep alive a moment at a time…

Things don’t usually happen overnight. So why do we usually expect them to? I’ve been guilty of that, and I’m sure most, no, all of you are guilty of that as well. Sometimes we just need to be more patient with things, and of course do our part to make things better, and the way we want them to be.

If things go wrong, fine. Let them go wrong. It’s just a part of life. It’s something we have to live with. Certain things may slow you down, hurt you, and just flat out suck, but once you do get hurt and fall to the ground, you need to stand, and learn to walk again.

Learn how to walk again and refuse to let things get in the way and stop you from getting to where you want to go, where you want to be. Refuse to give up, refuse to die. Take one step at a time, one day at a time…

“One day at a time–this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.” – Unknown Author

Now Playing: “Walk” by the Foo Fighters